mengapekah?

i dont noe y do it had to be like this..i love them as i love my family..but y do some of "dem" turn out like this? i fell so kecewa with all this thing yg happen recently..nape perlu sume ni terjadi? y is it has to be like this? i hate this situation..i hate when i talk something bout dem behind they back..i hate when sesi tinggal meniggal berlaku..i hate when i ketawe x ikhlas..but inside meraung kesakitan..cikin br jer ckp:
takpe...
sabar itu tande kemenangan...
:)
tak ramai org mampu sabar...
lagi tak ramai yg mampu redha...
:)
there was a door to which i found no key; there was a veil through which i might not see...

but..dah cukup sabar dan redha dah ni..perluke ku senyum x ikhlas? x suke keadaan itu..
its not like i hate dem..but..i do love dem..mybe dats y i do things dat i'm not suppose to..like senyum x ikhlas..kekadang talking to dem pon mcm x nak jer..but when i thinks bout this make wanna cry..i'll be with dem 4 the next 4 years..how can i face dem if i can't give dem the true bout how i fell bout dem? should i tell? or should i just shut my mouth sampai die sedar sendiri.. tp dulu die dah ckp dah sedar tp masih lagik..perluke?i feel like so talking rubish rite now..pasal ni satu hal..pasal exam yg dah start ni lagik satu hal..langsung x suke sume ni..tp pasal exam ni mcm dpt terime coz dis is university..u have to face it..but bout "dem" tu adekah adat berkawan mmg mcm tu?..huhuhu..di tgh mlm ni aku merepek repek..tp it just the way i fell rite now..do "dem" mmg act that way or keadaan memaksa diorg tuk jadik mcm tu..aku pon x paham..aku nak tgk sgt mmg akan jadik mcm tu ke atau disebabkan factor len bende tu jadik mcm tu...berfikir sejenak...